00:08
So let's talk
00:10
about journey versus the end goal. You know, most of us, if not all of us, set so many goals, you know, life with a personal professional or boy. And everybody talks about goal settings wherever you go to learn about business, one of the first thing they will talk about is a goal settings. But the way we would like to look at the goal settings today, is the approach rather, is a little bit different than what most people teach us. So what do I mean by that? Well, what happens is that most people that teach us goal setting settings, rather, will focus us on let's set a goal, let's create all these steps with put the milestone let's make sure we achieve one by one, you know, a task so we can get closer to our goal, and so on. So it's all about that end result, if you will.
01:10
But what is as important,
01:14
if not even more important, is the journey that we go through while setting up the goals and while achieving the tasks in order to achieve that end goal. That is truly truly, if not more, than it's as important. Some folks. And on my friend, colleague, Dr. Tal Ben Shahar basically says that journey is more important, especially when we talk about happiness, there is more important than the end goal. And when happiness when it comes to happiness, certainly journey is the more important now, for some of us, that we keep setting up the goals and maybe we don't achieve them, then, you know, we may not be as happy with a journey, we really want to achieve that end goal, which is you know, why we set why we set these goals so, so again, it is really important, and we're going to explain that step by step. The journey is very important. A lot of people really don't think about journey, they just think of end goal. And here's what happens. When we focus on end goal and end goal only. We might be miserable for a long, long time, until we achieve that end goal. And what happens when we get to the end, when we get to the end, we might be happy, we will be happy, right? Regardless of what goal goal we set and achieve. But that happiness, that moment, that will be a moment of happiness, rather than enjoying your life while on the journey. So if we look at let's take a look at
03:13
this. So if we go and say, Well, let's think about goal setting. So what I would like everybody to do is to think about two goals. So identify one personal goal and one business goal. So please write down one personal goal, what is it that you want to achieve and be as specific as possible, don't just say oh, I want to be happy, that doesn't work need to be as specific as possible, one personal goal
03:48
and one business goal. So,
03:51
I will give you a little bit time and I rather I may even move a little faster. So that you will catch up and you can always come back and watch this thing. So So let's set one personal goal and one business goal.
04:04
Now, once you have that,
04:07
I would like you to identify steps. So what are the steps that you are going to take in order to get to that personal goal and in order to get to your business goal. So identified at least five to five to seven, at least five to seven steps, very specific actions that you are going to take
04:39
that will get you to the end result now. Please
04:46
be aware that most goals even a small goals will actually require many steps and many actions in many tasks
04:56
to get to the end
05:00
For the purpose of this exercise, we ask you to look at five to seven, so that you can complete this exercise rather quickly just to get an idea. So now that you identified these five to seven steps for each goal for personal and for business. Now, I want you to think about a journey. So what do I really mean by think about the journey. So think about
05:33
things that you are going not just to do, to feel to experience while going through these steps. And as we look at the journey, I would like you to think about one of the happiness model that we learn earlier. And it is a perma, where P stands for Positive emotions, ie for engagement, are for relationships, and for meaning,
06:07
an A, for the achievement. So as you think of journey, let me give you an example. That might help to
06:18
identify to look at the journey to see what I really mean by so when I was writing my book, habits and happiness, if you think about if my end goal certainly was to publish the book, to publish the book, most all authors, that's their goal is right to publish that book. That's the end goal. However,
06:47
if I was only thinking of
06:51
that end goal, if I was thinking, oh, you know, it will be great, I'll be happy when I publish that book, that will be awesome. You know, this is going to happen, and that's going to happen. And if that was the only only goal, if you will, I will be miserable for years. Because because it took me years to publish that book, to finally get it out. Now. Instead, I focused on journey, I was thinking, What can I do that will improve my overall well being and my happiness
07:35
while I am
07:37
on this long journey of publishing the book, so I looked back and I looked at that perma, which is the one of the happiness model that we use. And I looked at and I said, Okay, P stands for Positive emotions. What do I do on this journey? That brings me positive emotions. And I realized
08:01
that reading
08:06
8pm till 9pm, because that's the habit I created, really brought me positive emotions, eight to nine, that one hour of my reading time, is the definitely one thing. One of the things one of the many things that brought me positive emotions, that was part of the journey, right? So I was I was focusing on these daily getting daily posted emotions, while on journey of publishing the book. Then, I looked at engagement or flow, how can I be more in flow? And what do I do on this journey that brings me more flow. And I realized that while I was writing, which was most days from 6am, to 7am, and of course more, but there was my scheduled writing time, that during that time, I was truly in the flow. I was truly in the flow. I wasn't thinking of the book, I wasn't thinking of the end result. I was in the flow. Right? Remember, just like us, when we were kids and play the soccer, basketball, football play with Barbie, we were in the flow in the moment,
09:24
right. So that's how I realized
09:28
that I can be even I can have a more engagement or more flow in my life while on the journey of
09:38
achieving this goal, which is publishing the book. The next
09:44
in parallel is our which is relationships. So what did I do
09:49
that will increase and improve
09:54
quality, if you will, of my relationships? Well, here's what I did. I had a regular meetings with people and the lunches, and the Skype and zoom calls, I had the dinners, I would go out for social drink, I would meet many friends and people that I do not know, they would discuss the subject of habits and happiness. And every single time that I would meet with someone I know, I know, that's really what improved my overall well being by increasing the quality and quantity of my relationships with other people. And again, that could be friends, family, and people that you do not know. And this is really how, how you get more of our, if you will, which is
10:44
relationships, then it comes
10:48
to em from perma M, meaning
10:52
now there is a, it's a little tricky with
10:56
the meaning. And here's why a lot of people think have a big meaning in life, you know, why am I here? Now, the meaning of this book, The Big meaning was for me to leave something behind, that will help people, even when I'm gone, right there will help people today, it will keep helping people. And you will, it will help people,
11:20
hopefully for a long, long time.
11:23
Regardless if they just pick up a book or not, but the knowledge gets there, people practice these new habits. And then they are knowingly or unknowingly teach other people, the family, friends, and so on. So there was a big meaning. But
11:38
that meaning
11:40
wasn't accomplished until the book was published. So now what I did is I looked for, and I highly suggest everyone to do this, regardless, what you do, is to look for a little meaning. And when I say will mean, I mean, meaning there is a meaning behind everything we do. Everything we do on a daily basis, there is a meaning we can find the meaning now. Is it absolutely everything one most things, you know, is there meaning behind you know, taking out the garbage? Yes, of course there's think about it, yes, there is a meaning is there a meaning of me taking this 60 minutes in the morning, right to book to write right and or taking an hour, which is 7060 minutes, digging now in the evening to do my scheduled reading time, in addition to any time that I was able to read Yes, of course, of course, there is. So find a meaning in in things that you do on a daily basis. And trust me, regardless of the goal or without the goal. This by itself will will improve your happiness, and overall well being. Now, now we're going to look at achievement. Again, if you think of the achievement, you could think of well, the achievement happened only when you publish the book. You can look at it that way. Right. But that's not true. Again, that's the big achievement. That's the end goal, right. But I had to look at the achievements on a daily basis, I had to look at every day by the end of the day, what did I do? What did I achieve today that will get me closer to my end goal. And I have achieved a lot on a daily basis for this particular
13:46
goal. Again, most days, I, I
13:52
wrote an essay pleased again, at least one hour a day. Right. So that was my achievement. Most days, I met people and discuss the subject, there was my achievement. Most days, I read research papers, that would again get me closer to the big achievement. So you have to look at these little achievements. They will help you they will help you with your big achievement. And that by itself will help you enjoy this journey. So as you look at your goal, again, regardless what the goal is, regardless what the goal is personal business combination, you have to not only look at that goal settings which most people teach these days.
14:46
And you can find everywhere
14:49
about goal settings, right? It's it's there are so many different ways. You will find all that about smart goals. You will find so many much. That's the easy part is setting up a goals it is. Clearly the action items for the goals is easy. Right? It is easy. achieving a goal is not easy, right? Most people set a goal. But they don't. They don't follow through. That's what the research shows. Now. We know that we didn't need research to show us that most people set goals because we we've done it so many times we set the goals, we haven't achieved it, right? Maybe it was just me. Maybe you achieve every single goal, your goal that you set and good for you. But not me, not me, I have said so many goals, and I've never achieved them. And there are so many more that I want to achieve. But but also the research shows that when people achieve the goal, they are not happier than before. What does that tell us? What does it tell us? You might be working a year two, three, even if just a week, right? To achieve one goal. And then what happens? You happy for that moment, then you not happier than before? On the long run? Right? That's not good. That's not good. Because okay, you achieve the goal. And then guess what happens? You just gonna move on to the next one. And if you don't savor these beautiful memories of achieving that goal, if you don't create and enjoy that journey, forget about your settings, I'm sorry, but look, you know, you may be in a business, and all of us are one way or another right? And you set a goal. And yes, you have to achieve it of course, right? But find a way to enjoy the journey, find a way to enjoy the journey. So now look at the goals that you set. So you had two personal sorry, you had the two goals, you had a personal goal that I asked you in the beginning to set. And then you had one business goal that asks you to set these two goals, each goal is going to have number of action items in order to get there right, a more detailed plan, and more detailed and focused action items. And, and as specific as possible, very, very specific, is the something that will get you closer to achieving that end goal. So now you have these two steps, you have a goals, you have all the actions that you're going to take. And before you even start working on your goal. Now I want you to think about the journey.
17:51
What can you do, even if this
17:53
goal is so difficult, even if this is something that, you know, maybe you don't even want to do, but it was set by your boss, these things do happen. Sometimes there are things that we have to do. And even if we don't want to, Hey, boss, set a goal and you want to keep the job or you or or have your own business. And there is a goal that you just don't want to work on.
18:17
But you know, it needs to be done. Now, don't be miserable.
18:24
Throughout that entire time from the beginning to an end. Please don't do this. Think upfront, don't wait, don't start going on the task, doing the tasks. And again, just being like so unhappy while working on the goal, which most people do this is what really bothers me. If there is a way, there is a way to set that in the very beginning, as long as we set a way to enjoy the journey. So it's going to take some don't want, we need to understand that the journey is as important, if not more important than that end goal.
19:06
Journey is as
19:08
important if not more important than the end goal. And then number two, that we find a way from the very beginning, especially for the long term goals. We find a way to enjoy the journey. We look that perma model that's you can look at any model or you can even ignore any model, I don't really care. Just find a way to enjoy. I looked at this per minute I looked at what can I do to increase positive emotions, engagement or flow relationships, meaning and achievement. And it just gave me a framework if you will, to help me enjoy this journey. Again, you can look at this model. You can ignore any model. I mean, you can go wrong as long as you know What will make you feel good, what will give you a positive emotions because we do know
20:05
that emotions, emotions,
20:09
we know what bad emotions do to us, right? We do know what stress does to us we know we do know that ruins our health, right and oral well being. But we also now do know that good emotions, the good emotions will improve our health will improve our overall well being will improve our happiness. So while we work on the goal, while we work on the goal, why not at the same time, work on our overall happiness
20:41
and well being. So, one more time, set the goal. Have a big goals
20:52
always have a big goals, in addition to dreams have big goals that you know that achievable. Dreams are achievable, too. But sometimes dreams are just dreams, and goals or goals, right?
21:04
Set all the tasks that you need to do in order to get to the end goal.
21:14
Set all the milestones that he put the dates when you're going to achieve these milestones in order to get you closer to the end goal. And always, always, always think about what can I do to enjoy this journey, even even if I'm not happy that I
21:38
have to achieve this goal. What can I do
21:43
to enjoy this journey so that your happiness will not only last for that moment, but that moment of achieving the goal? Right so happiness will not only be okay the book is published on every now and now what but rather, it will last throughout the journey.
22:03
So be happy and make
22:05
sure that you create your personal and business success and achieve true life success with life success again
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
