Braco Pobric 0:00
Welcome to Business and happiness podcast. I'm your host Braco Pobric. JJ, this episode is sponsored by life Success Academy, a place where you recreate your business and personal happiness. So welcome everyone to business and happiness podcast today, I have a very, very special guest so honored to have an individual who was actually I believe one of my very first participants in a workshop for positive psychology from like, 1012 years ago. She's associate director to Lafayette College, Career Coach, humorist, and believe it or not stand up comedian. So please welcome my friend Margie cherry Maji. How are you?
Margie Cherry 0:48
I am wonderful broxtowe. It's so good to see you. And we were just reminiscing that it's been over 10 years, since we actually saw each other in person, which blows my mind blows my mind. But it's great to be here.
Braco Pobric 1:04
I know I can't believe also, it's been it's been that long. And I know we were trying to stay in touch and but finally at least we got in touch, we'll do this. And I really want to hear from you. All these great things that you're doing, and especially in 4k with you I want to talk about humor, and how it can help us with stress. And what you really working on in that area. Because I you know, for years, I know how important that is. I know how it helps me. So would that be okay to chatter?
Margie Cherry 1:42
Absolutely. I would love to I would love to. It's so important to me. And it came to me really by accident as so many things in my life have I mean, I call myself the accidental everything, everything I've become has been a happy accident. So I stumbled into humor. Um, many, many years ago, after my first child was born. I had what I later learned was postpartum depression. And it recurred again with my second child. And the only way I need to cope was to kind of keep a journal. And at the time, I was a working illustrator. So my journal, of course, was illustrations. I was like drawing these little doodles of all the things that were making me nuts about motherhood. And before I knew it, I had basically what amounted to a cartoon. And I ended up finding a parenting paper who was looking for a cartoonist, and I became an accidental cartoonist.
Unknown Speaker 2:39
Oh, what a story. It was
Margie Cherry 2:41
great. And it was a way for me to channel all my frustrations, all my confusion, all my feelings of overwhelm into a cartoon. And then I would meet people and run into moms at different parenting groups. They say, Oh, my gosh, you're the cartoonist, I have that cartoon hanging up my refrigerator. Are you like looking over my shoulder? Do you know what's going on in my life, that's exactly what's happening in my life. So for me, using humor was a way it was like building a bridge out of my isolation of postpartum depression, and a way back into the community of other mothers. And I felt like we were sharing something. And that just sparked a spark an idea in my head that humor is the way out of our stressors. It's a way for us to master our stressors not to become the victim of our stressors. And it's continued throughout my life in various ways.
Braco Pobric 3:32
Wow. You know, that just reminds me of what I used to do. At one point in my life. I remember, you know, I was working for Merrill Lynch. And first, like, I would get up earlier, you know, my office was on like, 10 minutes office was only 10 minutes from home. And every morning, I would watch before I leave actually home, I would watch one of the stand up show, you know, for 20 to 30 minutes. And it just like made my day. I mean, I was doing this for like, I don't know how many years? I miss, right? Absolutely. Well,
Margie Cherry 4:07
the first step in using humor to master your stressors is to consume humor to be a human consumer. Fill yourself with the things that make you laugh, and you have to have and develop your own sense of humor. The next level up is then creating comedy out of your own stressors. That's sort of like you know, going going up Maslow's hierarchy. This is the comedy hierarchy first become a humor consumer. Notice what makes you laugh, enjoy the laughter savor it. It's a lot of the you know, the things that we talked about positive psychology, the savoring. It's even a form of gratitude because you're noticing what in your life is, is foremost in your life. And if it's a stressor, then you need to turn it around. And rather than being grateful for it, you take an attitude towards it, and you convert it with you humor. And that way you become, you take back the reins, you take back control of what is stressing you out. So this
Braco Pobric 5:09
is really interesting what you said, because it just got me thinking, this is really what great comedians do, they will take their real life, if you're these are the best community you can connect to. And you go to Cyprus to me all the time, right? So they take their real life example. And then they make fun of it, even if it was something bad that happened to them. Right.
Margie Cherry 5:29
Exactly, exactly. I think I think that's the best form of humor, obviously. I mean, there's plenty of comedians who have other people write jokes for them. And they're really funny. And that's great. And I really enjoy that. But to me, the ones who I really connect with are the ones who are using their story, their pain, and turning it around with humor, because again, that's that human connection, somehow universalizing your own pain and stress and frustration that connects you to other people, because you've universalized it, they are feeling the same thing you are, you're just giving a name to it, you're you're making a joke out of it, that they can relate to. And that that connects us. That to me is the beautiful part
Braco Pobric 6:09
of it. Yes, that really connects her so. So how do you think like, I know, for my experience, it helps me right. Why is that? Do you know? Like, why does humor help us a lot?
Margie Cherry 6:24
Well, I mean, that's, that's a great question. There's so many levels to it. And again, if you begin with just us viewing humor, or or listening to humor, and laughing at it, there's, you know, endless studies done on the benefits of laughter, it releases dopamine, it releases endorphins, it floods us with that wonderful cocktail of feel, feel good hormones, so that you know that that's the basis of it, then when you take it that one step further, and you create the humor that causes the laughter, then you're bringing in creativity. So it's, it's like using different parts of your brain, you're, you're using your emotional response to respond to it. But then you're using your creativity, which lights up every part of your brain to bring together the ideas that then turn things around with humor. So it's sort of like a whole brain explosion that happens, and it is almost a magical process. They say that trying to dissect comedy is like dissecting a frog, you know, they die when you try to dissect it. But there there is there, there continuing to be more and more studies, about the impact of humor, on our brains, on our emotions, and now more of the impact on creativity. And that's the part I'm really interested in exploring is the creative, the creative part that happens when we become the comedian. And I don't I don't mean that everybody should be a stand up comedian Brexit, believe me, of course, even in our own minds, even if we just jot down a little note in our own journal, if we keep an attitude journals that have a gratitude journal, you know, we're just, you know, a funny quip to a friend or, you know, or coming up with the perfect means to send somebody that's, that's taking back those reins of control over our stressors in a small way. That is a piece of it that is really has really not been totally explored yet. And I'm fascinated by it.
Braco Pobric 8:26
Here, you know, this is really interesting. So we're two sets at the first level is you basically consume it. And the next level is you creating your own. So now becoming, you know, you have your creativity in addition to everything else that you're going, as you did for years with with a cartoon, so Right, right. This is this is really interesting. And like you said, doesn't have to be stand up. Yes. It just imagine me I have another friend who basically was teaching Dale Carnegie program, you know, for many years, his idea, and she did a number of stand up, actually, I went to see her first stand up. And I just thought it's really interesting how, you know, some of us who are involved with your could be public speaking could be, you know, training helping people. How some of us started exploring your comedy. This is really cool.
Margie Cherry 9:16
Right? Right. It's just another way of connecting is just another another communication tool. And it is one that's been proven to to get a good response from people to really connect with other people. And for me, especially in times of pain, like I said, originally, it was postpartum depression. And I felt isolated. I felt like I wasn't part of the Muslim community because I wasn't appreciating motherhood the way other women were. And as soon as as soon as my cartoons got out there, I was instantly connected. Everybody was saying to me, I feel that way too. It pulled me out of my isolation. And then it happened again, and I have to admit that even I forgot even even though I was teaching comedy workshops to moms at the time, Will those stand up mamady Was it i colo, I after my kids grew up, I kind of forgot about it for many years brought so. And then, in about 2017, I had a very bad fall in my, in my house, and I shattered my humerus from my elbow to my shoulder. And it was such a bad break that it actually damaged the radial nerve to my hand. And I was told that I paralyzed my hand. And I was told by three different doctors that I might not get it back. And of course, I you know, of course I was depressed. And after wallowing in it, you know, you gotta wallow for a while after wallowing in it for a while. One day I came home from physical therapy, and I was alone, and there was my bottle of painkillers waiting for me. And it was a childproof cap. And I only had one hand, and I could not open it no matter how much I contorted myself and tried to open it. And at first I cried. And then I started to laugh. I thought if anybody was watching me, they would think this was crazy. So I somehow, in the moment decided to set up my own camera and take pictures of myself trying to open this this childproof cap with one arm, and I ended up starting a 22 episode, Instagram series called The humerus Chronicles. And I mocked the life of a one armed woman in a two and a two armed world for 22 weeks as I recovered.
Unknown Speaker 11:36
by you, you were entitled to do that, because you were one our woman, right?
Margie Cherry 11:43
Yes, exactly, exactly. But once again, once I was putting it out there, you know, again, I couldn't drive I couldn't get out there couldn't see my friends, people, people really didn't know how badly I was injured. So against again, it was that sense of isolation in my pain. And once I started putting the message out there in a way that people could relate to which was through through humor, I call it creative. prefetching, you know, to kvetch, is to complain and yet ish. So creative fetching is to turn around a complaint and make it funny. So by making it funny, people came to me and they started responding online. And you know, you're writing Oh, my gosh, I can't believe this, you know, and believe, before I knew it, people were coming to me, calling me supporting me. And once again, I was pulled out of my isolation, and had built that bridge back into the world through humor. So that's the message I want to preach to everybody is this, this is what will connect you to other people, when you feel alone in your pain, or alone in your confusion or frustration, whatever it is, humor helps you connect, because people like to receive messages in a fun way. And when you're just like wine I even have I had today, nobody wants to listen, right? Nobody wants to hear that. So if you make a joke about it, you make it entertaining. And suddenly, people pay attention.
Braco Pobric 13:05
Wow, you know, what I'm thinking is just like, just like when I think of like mindfulness and meditation, it's a side effect, right? So the, you know, they happen. And so it has, you know, its resilience. It's it's a side effect of being mindful. So now I'm thinking, what you just described, would you recommend people to like, like, like, I don't want to wait for that moment. Like, I like to practice it now. So when something happens to me, I'll almost be I'll be ready sooner than later.
Margie Cherry 13:43
Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I'm really glad you brought that up. Because that's something that a lot of people don't think about. Even when I do a workshop on it. They sit there and they listen, but they don't do the exercise in the moment. And I think like you said that the sooner you do it, the more in practice you are so that when that time comes when you are in pain, or you are overwhelmed, or you're confused, you've got this tool in your tool belt. And excuse me, there's a few ways that you can do that. One is one is to keep that little journal we talked about whether you call it an attitude journal or gratitude journal or joke journal, but it's more about seeing our stressors as material free times something happens to me that that is upsetting. I try it I'm not always successful, and you shouldn't be and this is not like a panacea and this is not like you know, feel good whitewater feelings. Don't don't accept our feelings. But every once in a while, I'm able to step back and go wow, what's funny about that? Mm hmm. And I, I flip it in my mind, even if I never share that with another person or never write it down. In my mind, I have flipped the scenario and trying try to see what's funny about the situation. It is all material. Once you have that new lens to look through and you start looking at everything, all the bad things that happened to you as material. Suddenly it's sort. It's almost like, Okay, what's going to happen next? And it gives you grist for the mill. And it really does become a habit. And that that's what I want to get back to for myself, as well as help other people understand that yes, exactly what you said, if you practice it now, it'll be there ready in your tool belt for you, when the time comes when you really do need it?
Braco Pobric 15:29
Yes, yes. And the reason I say that, because people tell me Well, you know, I'm really stressed out or going to meditate. I was like, no, no, no, no. You don't meditate. You know, because you'll get less stress, you get less stress, because you meditate. It's
Margie Cherry 15:45
right, right. But all these things, they're not a pill that you take that magically solve the problem. It's an exercise that you do to strengthen that muscle, right? What we're both dealing, we're talking about meditation, we're talking about using humor, it's a muscle that we all have that we need to work on and strengthen. So when the time comes, we have that strength. We already have that at our disposal to use.
Braco Pobric 16:08
Yes, you know, you are you are now encouraging me to start doing because often, you know, I personally will see, you know, of course, when really bad things happen. And it's hard to see in the moment, but it certainly happens. It's like, you know, it's bad. But, you know, I often I'll make a joke often in my Bible. It's not funny. It is funny. Right? So it's, you know, it's not good. But yeah, we can laugh at it. So I need to play I need to practice mode that to them.
Margie Cherry 16:36
Exactly. You know, and the famous quote, I think it's from Carol Burnett. But I think she was quoting many other famous, famous comedians who always say, comedy is tragedy plus time. Now, yes, you need that gap of time for minor tragedies, you know, like tripping over something. That's not a major tragedy, you can come up with something funny about that in the moment. If God forbid something serious, you do need a little distance, otherwise your audience is going to say, too soon.
Braco Pobric 17:05
Yes. You know, this just reminds me and I really get goosebumps. Because everything that happened then without going to but 911 Right. So I lived in New York. Yeah. And the first Saturday Night Live after 911. Right. I was like, what, Saturday Night Live? And I remember, they had a guy. That's what we think of him. Now. They had the Giuliani and of course, they told him what to say. But you know, they were saying, Can we can we start? You know, can we make some jokes? And he goes, you know, why stop now? Like we haven't been we've been doing this for this year. So of course, so. So it's, it's hard. But you just have to keep going even with Tibet things, right?
Margie Cherry 17:52
Absolutely. Absolutely. And sometimes that is exactly what we need in a moment of like, national or universal tragedy, is something that brings us all together in a positive way. And treating it lightly, but you have to do it respectfully, is a way for us all to laugh at it. because laughter is catharsis, right? It's like stress is like filling a balloon, and you're filling it with your stress and you're filling out your stress and you're filling it with you're stressed up to the bursting point. But then you take humor, and you just poke it. There it goes. I like that. You use humor as catharsis. And sometimes we need that laughter as to Tharsis in those times of great, great stress. And they were really brave. They were really brave to do that SNL, and they were criticized for it. But everybody tuned in. Yeah, yeah,
Braco Pobric 18:45
they were. I mean, yeah. So yeah, this is really interesting. So tell me, I know, You've been I think you were asked to present at some large conference in law. Yes.
Margie Cherry 18:57
Yeah. I you know, what, I sure when I when I first got interested in comedy, you know, many years ago, when when I was first doing my cartoon, and I started doing these mom, mom's comedy workshops, where I was teaching other moms to do what I did with comedy. Um, I, I became aware that there was an association called the Association for applied and therapeutic humor. Who knew that there was such a thing to following them. And like I said, you know, for many years, I I put the comedy aside and raised my children and became a career counselor and concentrated on my career. Then when I got back into comedy a few years ago, once again, they were on my radar, and they they are having a conference coming up that I decided to apply to be a speaker at and because I've been working on my comedy cure presentation for a while where I explore just the subjects. I want to really do a research study on the effects on the on the person of creating comedy, what are the personal benefits of Korea of using creativity with humor to deal with our stresses? So I did a proposal and I was accepted. And I'll be presenting in Orlando in March. And I'm so excited because this is going to be an audience of other humor professionals. And I feel like I'm joining the ranks. It's a great honor. Wow,
Braco Pobric 20:23
that's, that's so cool. So do you still? Do you still do these workshops,
Margie Cherry 20:29
I do the workshops, I've done them for several conferences, I'm one of the things I'd love to do is do it for organizations, I think it's a great team building skill to use humor together around a common theme. So that's something that I'm working on. But I do, I've been doing the workshops, for a variety of conferences, especially with career counselors, and any other kind of counselor, as counselors we're giving giving moments long, and we get stressed and we get burned out. And, you know, again, another great way to deal with that is through creating comedy. And when you have a group that has a common bond, like career counselors, we all talk about the things that bother us as a group, and we can come up with common solutions as a group. So that's, again, the next level one is consuming humor. Two is creating humor, three, sharing that humor back with your group, you create an in group, and creating an in group gives you that sense of belonging, it gives you a sense of self esteem. And it really creates bonding. So it's an all around good thing. So
Braco Pobric 21:36
that's definitely wonderful. I just, I just wish more people like, you know, get it. And hopefully they will after listening to this and just just give it a try. You know, nobody's asking us, like you said to be a stand up comedians, but
Margie Cherry 21:52
exactly, exactly. This is this is for everybody, anybody, everybody can do it. And you don't have to have any aspirations to get to make it any further out in the world, in your immediate circle of friends. Or if if you're an introvert, you just want to write in a journal, the act of doing it in your mind of converting your own frustrations into phonies. Even if you just capture it in a journal, you're doing it for yourself. And that's terrific. That's my mission is to get people doing it in their in their daily lives.
Braco Pobric 22:22
So So journalism, one thing to start with to journal, right, then you maybe make, you know, joke out of some of these, you know, notes that you have in journal, you express your creativity and you present this to could be just a friend or partner, right?
Margie Cherry 22:41
It will shorten the conversation. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, if you belong to a book club, you know, injected into the book club somewhere, if you're out to dinner with friends, if someday we can all go out to dinner again. Sure, yes. Yes. Dinner Table, share it on a zoom call, for goodness sake. Yeah, so that that's the next level. It's it's consuming, creating and sharing. That's the key. Because when you share it, again, that's when the feedback loop starts happening. And you're becoming part you're creating community, and becoming a part of community with your shared with your shared sense of frustration and mastery over those frustrations. You've universalized your personal pain, and made a global, you've brought other people into your circle.
Braco Pobric 23:34
And you also get better, right? It's almost like when we say, you know, you learn the best when you teach.
Margie Cherry 23:41
Yeah, absolutely. So to To that end, a couple of years ago, when I started getting back into this, I thought, how can I keep preaching this when I haven't done stand up myself in a really long time. So I went back and I took a stand up class. And I had done that many years before and did it very briefly, because there was way too much vomiting on my part in the audience's. But I went back again, and I took another class because I felt like in order to really put myself out there as somebody who you know, who has the, the gravitas to teach the crop atoss and the seriousness to teach you. I had to experience what it was like to really put myself out there. And let me tell you, bro, so it is terrifying. It must be Yeah, it's terrifying. But it's also the most magical moment. Because once again, when you're standing on stage and you're sharing your personal pain transformed by humor, and the audience last, that feedback loop is like a wave of warmth and acceptance coming at you and then going rolling right back out again. It's it's just this magical moment that happens. I am not going to be doing it on a regular basis because it is way too terrifying. But that that highest level of creativity Sharing is, is really transformative. And you don't have to you don't have to do that. But I felt I felt for myself, I had a personal responsibility to the people that I was going to be teaching to really experience it at its maximum. So that's why I did it.
Braco Pobric 25:17
Yes. And you know, with everything that I teach, I do the same thing. I always tell my students, so you have to experience it first has to work for you before you can start teaching. You read the book and start teaching.
Margie Cherry 25:31
Right, right. Exactly. Yeah, for just about anything. You're right. Yeah.
Braco Pobric 25:41
Question. So what would you say? Some people might just say, Margie, you know, this is all good, but I'm just not funny. And he tried it. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not funny. People don't. I don't join nobody's laughing.
Margie Cherry 25:54
Well, that is a great way, telling jokes is a completely different art. That's the art of storytelling, you're telling somebody else's story. But if you tell it well, the left, if you don't tell it, well, they will. But what I'm talking about is using yourself, using your, your your own. And you don't have to be funny, but you have to be willing to be creative, and willing to see your problems as material through which to view which becomes a comic lens. And it can be taught, it's a little too much to teach the whole thing right here and now. But there is a process that you can actually go through exercises, and learn to put that little twist on things. There are definitely like comic Lin works to me, that teach you how to take an idea and flip it and make it funny. Anybody can do it. I swear. Anybody?
Braco Pobric 26:52
I believe you, I believe. So question Do you have? Did you create like any online course? Are you in process to do it? I would love to like, learn more, and just get your process in place. What a
Margie Cherry 27:05
great idea. I have my workshop. And from that I am planning an online course. But that's something that I would love to talk to you about. Because broxtowe You are the master.
Braco Pobric 27:18
Absolutely, whatever, you know, if you need any help, and you know, I've been doing this for many years, and you know, every day you learn something new, I was just telling this morning, my wife, you know, I just learned something this morning that I didn't do for this 12 years. You know, it was like simple thing. But so we keep learning
Margie Cherry 27:34
by Absolutely, absolutely, yes. That's one of my goals, I really want to be able to spread this message, and let people know that this is possible. And this is a great way to deal with your stress. I mean, there's so many different ways to deal with it. I mean, obviously, there's meditation, there's yoga, there's mindfulness, there's so many different methodologies, and some work for some people, and some don't. For me, I have too much add to sit and meditate. I was I was dropped out. I couldn't even breathe properly through my birth, you know, from my labor. So I need to do something more proactive. So for me, comedy, that's my meditation.
Braco Pobric 28:14
Right, right, right. So we just have to try and see what works. And, but but but you're right, you you. And this is why I'm really asking this because, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day about the legacy, right about the things that we do that we can leave. And, you know, these are the things that you need to share. So they have to leave it with people so that they can then teach other people so they
Margie Cherry 28:41
are so lovely. That you know, they I think they say that um, self actualization is the top of Maslow's hierarchy. Right. But then the next I think it was it was somebody other other than Maslin said the next step beyond that is giving back his generativity. And to get to that point, where you're giving back, you're taking all the wisdom, all the expertise, all the things you've learned in your life and then sharing it back. That's the generativity that becomes your legacy. Yes,
Unknown Speaker 29:15
yes. So yes, yes, yes.
Margie Cherry 29:18
We are mission I think we have an obligation to share that, you know, whatever it is, we've learned that works for us, we have an obligation to share that.
Braco Pobric 29:29
I agree. You know, sometimes I wonder, you know, you have you know, well, there are so many wise and you know, a people and out in the world and we just don't get a chance to learn from them. You know, older grandparent so you can just there's so many things but nobody asked them and they didn't have a chance seriously like, I was like, I wish I brought my grandparents died before I you know, was born. I just wish like I learned something to somebody pass this, you know, from the generation to me.
Margie Cherry 30:03
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah. So I mean, everybody has something to share. That's, that's it too. It doesn't have to be some grand planned out, you know, modular workshop. It can just be whatever it is that you've learned that works for you. It doesn't work for you. It can work for somebody else, everybody. Everybody approaches life a slightly different way. And if we can learn to share that with each other again, it's that connection. I think that, frankly, that's the purpose of life. But now we're getting too grandiose.
Braco Pobric 30:35
We are but that's, that's right. Listen, thank you so, so much. This was just so wonderful. We're going to leave it with the message where you and I are going to create some even more legacy, you know, and and leave things behind so people can you know, hopefully we did something right in our life and keep doing it so people can learn and apply with what worked for us.
Margie Cherry 31:02
Sounds good to me, Brock. So
Unknown Speaker 31:04
we'll talk soon. Thank you so so much. Great to talk
Margie Cherry 31:08
with you Brad. So
Braco Pobric 31:09
take care. Become the life success academy founding member, go to academy of life success.com and click on founding member to get 60% of full membership
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
