Braco Pobric 0:07
Okay, okay. All right. All right. Welcome, everyone to business and happiness. Today I have a really special guest, my dear friend, Otter posted education specialist on Molly doll. So Miley, welcome. Great to see you, my friend.
Molly Dahl 0:29
Thank you. Yeah, it's great to see you too. It's been a while.
Braco Pobric 0:32
It's been a while I believe. I still have a recording somewhere. When we talked about personal education at the post education festival, or sometimes, what, five, six years ago?
Molly Dahl 0:47
Yeah. You know what, I think that was their first one and 2016.
Braco Pobric 0:52
Is that right? In Dallas? Right?
Molly Dahl 0:54
Yeah, in Dallas. Yeah. So that's, that's been a while. Yeah, it's
Braco Pobric 0:58
been a while. Under the bridge? Yes. So I think this is really going to be interesting, because this is the first time that we are going to be talking about positive education. And actually, that they're really spin that I would like to take and discuss with you. Because this is your specialty is, you know, posting educational resources and focusing on adults, because usually we focus on kids. But But I would like us to focus on adults. What do you think? How does that
Molly Dahl 1:28
sound? I think that sounds great. I think the education world has shifted so much in the last couple of years. Everything just went up on its head turned over trying to figure out what a school look like when we're trying to teach kids when they're at home. And we're a home. And so I think it's been a I think it's been a struggle for everybody involved in education. And when we look at the adult, it's not just the teachers, it's the administrators, the counselors, the parents, so all the adults involved in the life of a child's education. So yeah, there's been a lot going on.
Braco Pobric 2:06
Yeah, and you've been involved in this for many years. So you pre pandemic, if you will, pandemic, and hopefully, by the time people listen to this, it will be posted. So, yeah, we're almost there. I hope so. So tell me what, so what's the difference? So let's start from, you know, pre pandemic, if you will, and look at our approach or positive education, you know, focusing on positive education in schools, with a parenting, and then then we can move on to, you know, pandemic time. So
Molly Dahl 2:46
yeah, that's a good format. Um, so pre pandemic, I, I was in my own classroom for 15 years, I was teaching Spanish. And as I, I don't know, I think most teachers, we continually learn that whole idea of lifelong learner, if you're not a teacher, and you don't know about lifelong learning, it's just the process of natural development, curiosity, and finding things that you're interested in and studying. And so we all have an aspect in our lives of lifelong learning. And then specifically, as educators, it's something we're very much encouraged to do, you know, we have to stay up on new AI, new theories and new practices and new science of how students learn what the classroom engagement strategies are, that work best to keep students involved in their own learning. And so when positive education came on the scene, it was so supportive of the kind of the neuroscience, the adolescent development that was deepening into how students really learn, acquire knowledge, apply knowledge, appropriate knowledge to make it their own. And so those last couple years of me being in my own classroom, I was studying positive psychology, applying it all to myself, really got fascinated with positive education, and how as we, as the adults start cultivating our own practices of well being and happiness based on research and practices of positive psychology, it shifts who we are, as adults in the world. It alters our presence and by presence, you know, we all have this presence, how we show up in the world, the attitudes that we bring the characteristics of who we are our values that show up in our demonstrated behavior. So all of this is impacted by positive psychology and then specifically positive education as we're studying that, but first and foremost, It's a practice of self. And in the education world, these are my two absolute favorite phrases about education. As a teacher, what we model is what we get. And so all of the practices that we weave into our own being show up in our presence. And so as I model positive psychology, practices in action, then that's what my students see. And we know that kids learn best by example. So what we model is what we get. And then the other phrase that's right on the tails of that is we teach who we are. And so as we are positive education, focused, become positive education specialists, I am now a completely different mindset. And so as I, my world changes, my inner world changes, my presence changes, I teach who I am, and I am positive, I can take perspective, I can manage and self regulate strong emotions, I can assimilate new knowledge and look at past experience, and know that my past experience doesn't necessarily necessarily have to define me, it certainly can. But as I am able to create a little more spaciousness around who I am and what my experience is, and then that whole package of MS doll as the teacher, and any teacher knows this experience, as that changes, my relationship with my students, changes my perspective on what it is to educate them and engage them in learning changes, and the whole dynamic classroom environment changes, because it's now positive, because the adult in the room is positive. And so I absolutely fell head over heels in love with positive education, positive psychology as as the, the backdrop of that, because it it, it made educating so fun, it was so engaging, you know, the the trials and the the struggles of being educated or didn't necessarily dissolve and disappear. Right? That's not ever gonna happen, we're never going to be challenged free.
What it did is it made these challenges exciting and engaging, and made me look at my own inner resources and say, Okay, how can I, what skills and tools do I have to address that? And, and so doing that for myself, then again, I was able to model that for my students. And it was so juicy, it was so much fun. They really became excited about what they were learning. And then it was just natural curiosity for them. To ask, start asking the questions. Why is this classroom so different from others? Why can't you know? Why can't we understand that everything that we learn in one class is connected to another plus you do that for us, Miss doll, but this is the only class I have that, really. And so it was just as natural curiosity, because what we might have is what we get, and through I guess, through the whole positive psychology and every other field that that branches into curiosity and question asking is a key concept. And so it just spills out. And then our students become interested. And when students start asking why, Holy Moses, that's every teacher's dream, right? Yeah. engaged enough to ask. Yeah, so that was I left my own classroom in 2014, wrote a couple of books, and then was back in the classroom in 2018, as a guest teacher in the entrepreneurship classes. So local high school,
Braco Pobric 9:29
high school, so yeah, one thing you know what you said about modeling? I mean, that is so so, so true. And I didn't really think as much about educators and you know, although I actually used to even teach in high school just for fun back in my country, like, once or twice a week, but evening, just enjoyed it. But I didn't see myself as a new educated researcher at a technical school and I mean, I was educated but that wasn't my full time job. But, but what I'm thinking is modeling, you know, years ago by, you know, my son, when he was little we lived in Brooklyn and he really grew up in Brooklyn. And I remember talking to his best friend, parents, who they were both psychologist their own practice in Brooklyn. And you know, I was just a techy guy. And I, you know, I was asking, I was warning about what's going to head you know, hey, eliminate beautiful air in Brooklyn Park. So but look, you know, it's it's New York City and Brooklyn. Not really silly, but Brooklyn. So they said, Look, just don't worry about anything. They're gonna try and do all kinds of things that you're not gonna lie, but the bottom line is in life, they will do what they see at home. And, and that's really so true. You know, I'm looking at my son now, got two kids, you know, a room full of books. You know, successful, happy, I mean, really, things that he saw at home is, what he what, you know, that's how he lives today. And, and, and it's interesting to hear that, you know, it's also from educators. It's really great. How kids can really pick up right, you don't need to tell them. Question for you. I believe you and I started studying postfix occurred years ago. Didn't we do that same time? We told me Shahar, right? Yes, yes.
Molly Dahl 11:19
I'm pretty sure we were in the same course with Yeah, that was a call. Yeah.
Braco Pobric 11:24
She's like, first class tell us first class that he did outside of Harvard? Um, yeah. And so you're basically and then you move to pursue education. And my my question to you is, so you, you were in a school as a teacher, then you left your last couple of books. And I should bring I actually have back in the other? My guest room, I have your books. You have them there, right. Remember, that was like a word power. A huge positive. That was the first time. And so yeah, that's a great, great book for for sure. So when you came back to come back to school? What do you actually teach now? So what is your costs when students tells you it's different? I'm just curious, is it? Yeah, can you just explain a little bit?
Molly Dahl 12:15
Yeah, I so that was in 2018. Oh, what would have been, I don't know, whichever year 1718 or 1819. Anyway, and that that ended when everything shut down in March 2020. So I haven't been in a classroom since what I was doing at that time, I was we have in Nevada, it's called careers and technical education program. And I think a lot of states have it. And it's, it's a way where kids can learn to apply their academic skills in certain fields that they might develop an interest in and go in that direction for post high school. And so I was in the, the business and entrepreneur, CTE track. And so I was only in once a week, kind of like you were with a tech ad in your home country. And I it was specifically the entrepreneur mindset on it, which was so incredibly fun, because the the teacher, the classroom teacher, did all the technical stuff, all the vocabulary, all the business modeling all of the how you create a business legally. And so I didn't have to do any of that part, which for me, was really great. Because my my love and passion in entrepreneurship is, of course, teaching. And then really supporting people in their ideas and their heart passion to bring that into, to a tangible business. So with these kids in the entrepreneurship classes, it was the entrepreneur mindset, and what that means and how you're going to take a lot of hits when you start your own business, and there's going to be a lot of opportunities for growth because you fail, and you're gonna fail. Yes. And so what does that mean? And how, how do you manage? And so it was, it was, it was necessary to interweave the principles of positive psychology, because we really have to look at what's working, you know, as an entrepreneur, and especially a young one you haven't had experience in life outside of school and business and school is very, very different. And so, you know, the Appreciative Inquiry, what's working, why is it working? How can we use what is working to create the future that we want and, you know, looking at models that already work, and so really challenging students to Yeah, take your idea, take your passion, but go do the legwork and find similar companies that are successful. What have they done to remain successful to become successful remain successful. And then how does that fit with you, you know, what you want, what you like how you like to work, what your values are, we did a lot of work around values. So the values in action with Ryan, Eric's work. And it was, it was very encouraging to me as the adult, because these kids were passionate about creating a world where they had direct influence through the businesses that they would eventually create. And so it was a really great place to interweave all of that positive psychology.
Braco Pobric 15:41
Right, right. So why do you think there's really not enough? You know, we call it positive education, maybe we can just give folks definition. What do we mean by that? And I'm going to leave that to you. What do we mean by positive education? And why? There really isn't enough? Yeah, so So what do you like when people hear positive education? How would you define that?
Molly Dahl 16:09
You know, when you first asked that, I thought, oh, my gosh, I don't really know. Which is really kind of funny. But, you know, I think what happens in life, and this is super interesting. I'm also teaching a course on my new book, which is over there in the corner, the art of emotional resilience, which is positive education. And then it's married with the practices from different religions. I don't even know if they're religious, but more spiritually. Maybe contemplative, is the better phrase, looking at the modern science, looking at the contemplative practices that work to create emotional balance and emotional resilience. And so this book came out a year ago. And I'm teaching the course on it. And someone said, Hey, we haven't actually defined the term resilience. And I'm five weeks in, right? I'm like, Oh, my gosh, we have it. And so what I think happens, why I had this little oh my gosh, I don't know positive education. When we learn, here's the neat thing about learning. When we learn, we start off by concept and definition. And then we have to practice making that concept, our own experience, making that definition, real through experience by applying that knowledge. And so I haven't actually sat down to look at the definition, the characteristics, the qualities, you know, what defines positive education in about? Well, since 2014 2011, me well, 14 around there. So that's eight years. And so my experience of that, oh, my gosh, I don't know the definition anymore, is because the concept has become real. Yes, yes, a word or phrase. And so what I what I'm going to do to define this is give you a lived experience of what positive education is. And it is being able to understand that, given the chance, most of us will do our best. Yes, go when we look at that in education, given the chance, most students give an opportunity to explore their interests, their values, their goals, and their passions will do their best, they will be engaged, they will own their learning, they will go forward out of their own natural curiosity, and learn and really not just to regurgitate facts, or multiple tests, ABCD they will learn what it means whatever their chosen interest, right, let's say, let's say it is entrepreneurship. And a kid really wants to start a business. They have this idea. They're passionate about it. They really want it to be real in the world. One of my kids did a T Shirt Company like graphic design T Shirt Company. And so I can't tell you how many different websites they would come every weekend. I missed all I research this, I researched this. I love the way that this is happening from this website. I really like this, but the rest of it is terrible. And so these kids are engaged because given the chance, right, opening the boundaries of what traditional education has to look like. Given the chance these kids will do their best they will be engaged. They will do their own research. They will put together a business plan, they will come and ask an adult for guidance. And when you can see that happening in a, in a student, that's positive education at its best, that is taking the concepts from a definition on a page at the very beginning stage of learning, bringing it into guided practice, what it means, what it looks like, how it feels, what your ideas about it are, you know, syncing it all in together, and then having the student apply it and turn it into a real demonstrated version of what they know.
Braco Pobric 20:41
You know, that's really great, obviously, because I think it's the same thing with adults, right? If you really explain this, well, you start with the definition. So like when I teach positive psychology? I start with a definition, actually, no, I don't sorry. The first question I do, the first thing I do is I ask them, what is their definition of happiness? Because that is it. Whatever your definition, I don't care what, let's not name anybody, I don't care what they say happiness is, what is your definition? And that's, that's the one that you will now live up to, just like your kids did. Right? That's, that's what they love. That's what they you know, good at, you encourage them, and then they do more often. And then they, you know, so. So that's, that's really great. Yeah, starts with the definition that we read somewhere that somebody says and then becomes something else for us. Right? It's supposed to be different. We can't be one definition of anything.
Molly Dahl 21:40
Right? Oh, you know, I so appreciate that. And that's really a powerful way to engage learners. And and I really love that idea of what is your definition of it? And it reminds me, we would, you know, in entrepreneurship, its success. Right? And whoa, talk about a loaded. Yeah, and the expectations, and so we ended up, you know, we would have these class discussions. And this, this one looked through all the time, what is success, and we finally did the same thing that you do with your students, you know, your definition of definition of success is going to be the one that you live up to. And so you have to know for yourself, what that looks like, and what that feels like, right? And so being able to really go into that deep personal exploration, what is success for me? You know, Is it money? Is it a bank account? Is it money? Is it the big house and the vacation home? And for most kids? It's not? You know, I mean, sure, yeah. Right. We all need financial stability, yes. But it's so exciting to have a classroom full of 35 kids giving their own personal definition of success, and then we can see how important it is to bring that concept, whatever that word definition is, into a personally lived experience. I would love to take your courses on positive psychology. Right?
Braco Pobric 23:10
I feel so much from you. There's not the two, you know, but But no, no, I think that's really important. You know, this morning, I was writing something, and I forget exactly what I wrote. But it was something about, I don't know what makes you happy. But I do know that if you don't go after your dreams, you will be unhappy. I mean, so like, I don't know, what makes people happy. Like, you know, this, it shows this, this, it shows that, yes, you and I study all these, you know, hundreds of pages of research papers, and we come up with something that makes sense for us, and hopefully makes sense for the people. But we don't know that which is done, we need to give him a chance to say if this makes sense for you, it may, may or may not work for you. So it seems to assume it the kids, you may or may not work for them, but we get them chance to do their own. That's that's that's really, really cool. That's really cool. So now you, you know, you mentioned I would like to spend a couple bucks, whatever, a couple of minutes or resilience. And it's because, look, we unfortunately still going through this. It's hopefully in kind of coming to the end of the pandemic. But resilience was really It still is like one of the top topics. And I actually happened to I had a course on resilience that IBM purchased it and they had, like 1000s of employees with different branches. I don't know, because they got it for pie, Mike my course. But my point is that it is important. You know, it is so important for adults and certainly, you found it to be so useful for for children. So tell me a little bit about what do you do? How do we how do we teach kids resilience or what do you do in classroom or something from the book that adults can learn from you, it will help them with either as educators or is it parents?
Molly Dahl 25:06
Yeah, thank you, um, this book, The Art of emotional resilience is written for the adults. And it when I, when I sat down with the idea to write it, it was mostly for educators. And then I thought, You know what, though? Everybody needs resilience, especially now. And so it, although it was originally written for educators, it doesn't matter if you are an adult, it that you will find something applicable. And how do we teach resilience to our students, our kids, our children? Again, I, my I think my default is to go back to what we model is what we get, especially if we have younger children at home. That's how that's how young children learn, as they as they watch, yes. And then they they copy, right. And we have the mirror neurons and that whole beautiful understanding of neurobiology of how babies learn first from the mom through facial expression, and then they learn spoken language by watching the mouth form. And right, so there's this whole beautiful synchrony that happens in person to person relationships. And for kids, it's essential when they're in the process of learning resilience, it's not a direct instruction thing, right? We know that for kids, you're not going to sit down and say to a three year old, okay, here's the idea, right? You're going to model for that child, right. So say, for example, you're in the kitchen, you're baking something and you turn around to grab something, and you catch the spoon handle in the bowl, and the entire bowl goes on the floor, and there's cookie batter all over the floor, whatever it is cookie dough. And so if you're doing this activity with your children, and you have an explosion, because there is, you know, your last, at least half hours worth of work all over the floor, there's all those ingredients wasted, you know, and if you have a meltdown, that's what your kids are seeing as the the way to manage an upset. But if you make it kind of fun, you get down there on your hands and knees and you say come down here and help me gosh, what a mess mommy made, you know, and just make it like, accidents happen. It's not the end of the world, you know, Hey, would you go get the dustpan? You know? And so kids are gonna see that, oh my gosh, when we make a mistake, it's okay. It's okay to make a mistake. And we just have to clean it up. You know, it's unfortunate that we wasted, you know, three eggs and however many cups of flour, right? And we can start over. We can start over let's throw this whole thing in the garbage. And we can start over and if a parent and adult not even. Not even the the parent, the caretaker, the adult whoever it is,
Braco Pobric 28:08
or they spend time.
Molly Dahl 28:11
Yeah, yeah, thanks, whoever they spend time with, simply models that and it's called co learning or CO managing. So I am speaking out loud. My process. Oh, shoot. Darn it. I wish that wouldn't happen. But here we are. We have a big mess. It's okay. So when the that that adult uses those words, that vocalization of thought process, that kid's gonna be able to say, Oh, it's okay. You know, and then maybe tomorrow, they dropped their glass of milk on the way to the table. Same situation, oh, no, something fell, something dropped, something spilled. And that little memory is gonna say, oh, but it's okay. So they're not going to melt down. It's not going to be the end of the world, they're going to have a neural pathway that's already laid down with the support of a loving adult. And so when we have kind interactions from someone we love and it's safe, those neural pathways are very, very strong. And so when that little kid drops their glass of milk, oh, but it's okay. And that's resilience. Yeah. And so we came up with our definition in class the other night of resilience being being nimble in the ever changing events that happen in the eternal present tense. Yes. I don't know. We were all come on. Oh, that's good. And it's just that that nimbleness of emotion and mentation, mental processing, interwoven together. Oh my gosh, I've made a mistake. My heart is like You know, just just a minute ago, I had that Oh, no. When you said what's the definitive definition of positive education? Oh, no. And then are my Oh, but wait, right. And so in that ever changing experience that happens in the eternal moment of now, how nimble am I? How nimble Am I in my emotions? How nimble Am I in my thought process around that emotion?
Braco Pobric 30:28
Right, right. You know, it's interesting, as you were saying this, of course, I was listening by the SEC, but I'm thinking, you know, we're talking about resilience and optimism. And, and I know how, you know, I actually picked that all up from my mom, she never taught me, she knew nothing about science behind it, there was no positive psychology. And if you think about this, another subject, I always love to talk to my colleagues is, you know, a research. And look, you know, we, especially here in West, we love the research, we, we need, you know, research behind everything, you know, the smile, we are gratitude, and the things that our grandparents told us years ago, right, when there was no research. And, and I think, you know, people, you know, people knew all these things before, and there was really, there was very little new, let's be honest, we it's almost like, in my view, sometimes we do research to prove that things people are doing for 1000s of years, I actually write, what do you what's your thought? I mean, it's always good subject to, and I know, I have a lot of friends who are like, you know, Oh, don't say that. We need though. Yeah, I'm not saying we don't need research. But what I am saying is that a lot of my clients, you know, if I have a coaching client, they don't care about the system, or me to help them to get from point A to point B. And, and I can use the research to help them, I'm not going to present their research. Tell me what's your thoughts about research versus Hey, this discussion with Tom about this 10 years ago?
Molly Dahl 32:10
Yeah, you know, I think you're right on and I, you know, it's it's so interesting, how society has changed and become so dependent on research before they do anything. Which, you know, maybe I grew up a lot like you, you know, my, my mom was, you know, my first best example, right? That's, you know, the primary caretaker. And nowadays, it could be the dad, it could be an aunt, it could be whoever, you know, but it's the same, the same idea, whoever we spend time width, is going to teach you some things that have worked along the path. And so, you know, I, when I first started studying the positive psychology, I being an education, everything has to be research based. It's just, it's kind of a shame. It's kind of a shame that everything has to be researched based, because there's so much we know intrinsically. And I'm going to get back to that in just a second. Okay, because great stuff coming. And so when we, you know, in my first steps into positive psychology, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I can take this into the classroom because it's research based. Yeah. Right. And so because it had the research base, I could bring it in. And it wasn't, it wasn't teaching spirituality, it wasn't teaching church, it wasn't religion. These are scientifically researched practices, like gratitude, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, his work, love 2.0. I mean, stuff that haha. Right. We know this. Our culture knows this. These are practices that are ancient. And they work because we're still here as humanity. Yes. And so what I have been really focused on lately,
Braco Pobric 33:55
Randall green agrees to use a coffee and cream.
Molly Dahl 34:00
Yeah, yeah, let's do it. Let's go anti research. Yes.
Braco Pobric 34:06
We teach research and we go into search.
Molly Dahl 34:10
Right. So what I what I've been coming into lately, and lately, I guess, probably the last four or five years, really paying attention to how we know things, not how we learn. Not, not how we educate, but how we know things. And so what I have, I've kind of put together lists based on research spiritual learning, my own practices of meditation and deep contemplation, watching others, having conversations with it, not not interviews, but conversations about well how do we know things? And so what I've learned come up with and I actually, I have a little list here because we did this the other night, my class. And the way that we know things is really quite fascinating. First and foremost, because we are physical beings in our world, and we have a mind that incorporates input, we learned through our five senses, right, we have experienced through our five senses, visual, most of the learners most Yeah, I'm going to use the education stuff. So most learners probably I think it's from 78 to 85%. We learned visually, right?
Braco Pobric 35:37
Yeah, remember that? Yeah. 70 to 80. Yeah, never.
Molly Dahl 35:42
Around there. We learn visually, we we watch, we take in visual input. And that's, you know, a primary way that we know things. And then we hear, right, it's and I don't know what the percentage of auditory learners when you really have to hear something to be able to process it and bring it in. We learn through tactile, you know, I am a very tactile person, I get to touch everything. A lot of athletes are very, very tactile in the way that they learn and experience the world. And tactile also includes using your whole physical bodily body as your learning mechanism. So that kinesthetic learner, and then we we smell our way through life, and we taste and some people, for them, food is the end all be all because of the taste and the rich. That that experience of being fully alive in the eternal present tense, right? It's right now it's that taste, but so overwhelming. And so experiential. And so those are the ways that we typically and traditionally input process mentally and then have experience. And that's how we know this word, mentation is our mental processing of experience. And so that's, that's it, that's our ball of wax of how we learn. And we know that that's not the end of it, we know that there are so many different ways of knowing, of knowing our experience, our knowing our self, knowing our outer world. And so we have first of all, let me see if I can find my little list because I want to get them get them right. Um, oh, shoot. So we have there are six of them. I know I have them right here somewhere. But let me see what my mind can come up with. Oh, feeling, right, we have feelings. And we know like a gut feeling, right? We all know this. We walk into a room, and we have this feeling. I'm going to come back later. You know, we see two people over there, and they're having a discussion, but we get the feeling that that discussion is not friendly. There's some deep stuff that's happening. I'm not going to interrupt. And so I'll come back later. And we know that because of the feeling that we get, it's not necessarily our visual input. Right? We see to people, we know that there's some tension, we see that, but that's not why we know. So feeling intuition is, is a very strong way that we know things. And I've been really focusing on intuition, especially for teenagers. And a lot of my like, I guess I'll say the support to be able to teach this and make it a real thing for kids comes from Dr. Daniel Siegel. And he is probably the foremost on adolescent development, adolescent brain development. He's out of UCLA. And so he takes us through the three natural stages of adolescent brain development versus risk taking behavior, right, the brain is wired, so that the dopamine circuits are super, super, super receptive. And so the risk taking behavior to get that intense dopamine head. And so that's the first natural stage of teenage brain development. As that cycles through its its normal cycle, and it'll be different lengths forever kid, we move into just thinking, and what he calls just thinking his big picture, being able to understand cause and effect. Oh, if I say that, it might have an effect on somebody else. So moving beyond just myself but into others. And then the third natural innate stage is intuition. It's part of the developing brain. Nobody ever talks about that. Nobody ever encourages. It's not part of pedagogy, which is the sciences of learning and teaching and educating. It is not included. Right. And so it's a real shame that the third like the most progressive part of it, Teenage Brain developing is their intuition. And nobody talks about that we squish it.
Braco Pobric 40:04
It's probably because coming back to our discussion, because there is not enough research to prove, because it's really hard to prove that intuition. It's hard to worry. What's the gut feeling? How do you prove that? Where's the research behind that film? And they probably got to come up with something. Right. But this Oh, my wrist? I think
Molly Dahl 40:26
I mean, I don't know. I think you're right. I think you're right. And it's and, and why I feel like Dr. Daniel Siegel gives me license to teach this is because he's a researcher, scientist, he does his studies. And so now, it goes to that point exactly. Now, because there's science behind it, it's safe for me to teach it. Right. But we know, we just know we get these, right, we get these little hits. We have been trained away from our own intuition. Just thinking societally and culturally how education works. How we squash kids. Well, I just, you know, I kind of feel like it feels good. Right? Well, and so being able to support everybody, adults, kids, support, hey, you know, things because you have intuition. It's intrinsically part of who you are. Embrace it, love it, start to listen to yourself, how do you start to listen to your intuition? How do you know that you have intuition? Tiny little things?
Braco Pobric 41:32
To share something interesting with you. So I, I have a gentleman from Australia, that's working with me now he's a director. And so yes, I do some recordings with him. And you know, so we do this remotely, really amazing. So the other day, you know, we had somebody that was going to say certain things. So I was like, I just can't, I can't say it exactly. I have it written down. And he goes, No, no, no, just just follow your intuition. Your subconscious mind will feed you words, I don't want you to say exactly what you wrote. Just start talking. And your subconscious mind will start feeding you. You know the words. And that's right. That's really interesting. Because there's no much. But that's yeah.
Molly Dahl 42:15
And I love that. And I love how, before we started our podcast, just in our little, you know, pre recording that you shared with me, we don't have questions, we're just going to kind of let it flow and go. And that is exactly how we learn to trust our intuition. Yes, don't read the script. Yes, kind of let go. That stream of consciousness writing that we learned when we were in high school, that is a great way to tap into your intuition. You know, if you have a question that you're grappling with, I don't know, should I take this new job, right. And you, you want to do the right thing, you want to do the thing that's going to be best for the long run. And so you can easily do stream of consciousness, write that down on the top of your page, that I take the job, kind of clear, your write your list of your pros and your cons. Scoot that to the background, take your pen, you know, what's an even better practice is use your non dominant hand. So if you're right handed, use your left hand, it'll be chicken scratch, you might not even be able to read it. But there's a place in the brain that connects to deeper consciousness when you use your non dominant hand. And it's a really fun practice. And you'll get some really interesting insights. And so that can be a way to cultivate your intuition. Another really easy way to start cultivating intuition, but also trusting it because it can be hard, right? Yeah. I just think that or is that because I don't want to do that. You know how that happens. So here's what we do. Oh, my gosh, I'm cold. I need a sweater. Yes, I am cold. Oh, my I'm hungry. Whoa, listen to my belly rumble. Yes, I am hungry. Someone offers you a cup of coffee. No, I don't. I don't want coffee right now. No, thank you. No, I didn't want coffee. Good job. So just those little things that we know, I'm cold. Start validating that, to trust that you know what, you know. And it's it's so simple. And it's so incredibly powerful to cultivate the self confidence needed to follow your intuition. Because we like knowing, right, but we don't always trust it. And here's another fascinating thing right on the tails of learning to trust. Yeah, I am cold in and I learned this in the yoga world. Through my yogic studies and yogic teachings, the human body is incapable of lying to you. Yeah, Your physical, biological body cannot lie. No. And so if your body says, Oh my gosh, I'm cold, we can easily learn to trust that because oh yeah, my body knows. So that can be also a really great way to develop that cultivating of intuition. Your body
Braco Pobric 45:21
will tell you everything. And if you listen to it, you'll do fine. If you don't listen to it. That's how you get stressed out. That's how we get in trouble. Because you don't listen to your body. Right? You don't take enough rest, you don't just simply you know, regardless, and that's my big thing. I really do my best and I try to rescind my body. When it says you're tired, you know, you're tired. Don't Don't fight it. It's okay to try it.
Molly Dahl 45:49
That's right. I think giving yourself that it's okay. Yes. Okay.
Braco Pobric 45:54
We'll take a break. You know, and this is my I love and I want us just to move to this last subject, I love, you know, having your own business. It's just like, amazing. So I can, you know, if like, in an hour or so I have this recording today that we do from I think four to six. Phil is now it's what it's known here in New York, for a low tide of charge, it will take like hours, right? You know, where's the I did, like, have to ever see my grandkids? So it's, it's, it's, I mean, that's not you know, body, but it's really like, you know, you're tired, you take a nap. And my big thing is, you know, I'm actually doing a lot with with, with corporate corporate world. And again, this is just, you know, wishful thinking, but how nice would it be. And I think at some point, we're going to get there, if we let people do the work, when they are, you know, the best at so some people can love to start five o'clock in the morning, some people love to take a little nap, some people will start in the evening, I know it's hard to coordinate, but seriously, when we are the most productive. So like I am, you know, up early morning, 5am, do my Excel do my meditation, I'm in my office, right? And, you know, how cool would it be if I am still and I don't want to have a full time job to say, hey, you can start six o'clock. And whenever you want to take a nap, take a nap, as long as we trust you, and you know, you will do your work. And as enterpreneurs we can do that. So that moves me into the subject of you know, this podcast, I purposely called business and happiness. And it's all about, you know, how do you and that's why, you know, found these Academy called Life Success Academy, which is all about, you know, how do you achieve your full life success? Right? So it's not about Yep, we only need to have a successful job and create, it's all good, but at the same time, successful relationships, and fun and so on. So that now you know, you have your own business. And, you know, teaching happiness and positive psychology is one thing. Now we need to live that while we have our own business, and we still have to pay our bills and write all of this that we do. How do you? What is the balance? How do you manage your money in your business and still, you know, try to be happy and have a happy and meaningful life? At home?
Molly Dahl 48:25
That is such a? That is such a fun question. I'm actually working with a business mentor right now as I as I pivot my youth positive, and to get more online, to access to have access to more kids so that we can support student mental health. And so in working with her, we talked about this very thing yesterday, and how we create that balance of what where's my success? Where's my happiness? And how do those interweave into the business? Because, you know, we have a business, we are not the business. Yes. Right. And so we we separate our our own identity from our business identity, yet, we know that it's all very intricately interwoven. So we take a look, then what I model is what I get. And so the way I live my business culture, is the way that my business culture will be. Yeah. So if, you know if I really liked this model, like you, let's encourage people to work at their most productive times. If they don't know that yet, let's support them in exploring that so that I can trust that team member to do their very best work for my organization. Because I know that when my team members have the freedom to do their best work, they will because most people given the chance will do their best. And so being able to Find for myself that, that balance in my own life. You know, I have to is it daily, almost my own meditative and contemplative practices, I really have to ground and center in myself so that I have spaciousness for others. If I'm, if I'm upset or twisted up up about something, or cranky or tired or whatever, then I am not at my best to support my team, and students and whoever else. And so my balance comes from my inner world. And so when I find trust in myself, when I listen to my intuitions, today, you're not going to have a lot of energy for all of those phone calls on your list. So which ones are the priorities? And then I take care of those, and then I send a quick email. You know, let's, let's try and catch up tomorrow, whatever it might be, right? So I self manage. And I become my best self, so that I'm better for others. If I don't, yeah, go ahead. No, no, sir. Say, If I don't, you know, it's, my mom used to say, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy? Yes. And we know that again, because the parent models, and then that child mimics that behavior. And so, we we do that, that's a lifelong thing for us. We all model each other. And so when we have leadership models, who demonstrate balance, taking perspective, emotional resilience, emotional intelligence, our team members are going to pick that up on some level, because of our energetic resonance with each other as human beings. And then, as the leader, we support them, we have our one on one conversations, we have our team meetings, we know our, our values and expectations as an organization. And then we we simply model, and when we meltdown, when we forget that this is what I want to be, I take ownership of that, I have the courage to say, oh, my gosh, I goofed. You know, it might not be okay, right now, it will be eventually, here's how I goofed. And here's what I'm going to do to remedy that, and have those conversations with our teammates. And so I think that being able to find this business and happiness, this business, and success really depends on each person, especially each entrepreneur or business leader, knowing what that is, for themselves, and embodying it. Yes, he said, driving to embody.
Braco Pobric 52:54
Yes, yes. So true. And it's, it's also, you know, as you said, US modeling, I often, when I find my, this is really what I pay attention to. And I often find myself that I don't do things that I teach, like, the other day, you know, so I was just talking about focus, right, and I had this must mastermind group, this was one of the subjects and I found myself few days that I wasn't focused enough. But the good thing is I kitchen and say, Look, you know, this is the thing you teach this, but you're not doing it now. Now, is that can that happen? Of course, we human right. But it's also fine to when you teach it to go at your, you know, students or to group and say, Look, you know, I was teaching this the other day, and I was telling you, what you should be doing to be focused. And I you know, that, you know, yesterday, I wasn't following my own advice, these things will happen to you, too. But as long as you know, consciously tried to do this every day, you know, whatever that is to do the right thing. That's what I would call just do the right thing. So all you need to do in life, and, you know, then everything will be fine. But it's really, it's a balancing, you know, if we out there and teach people how to be happier, how to be more successful, how to a meaningful life, then we have to start, it's all about I can teach you, that's my thing, right? So I can do the research, I can gain the knowledge. But unless I practice this, something, I don't teach it. And if I ever do that, I'll tell you that that doesn't work for me, but it works for a lot of people. You want to give it a shot. Like you know, certain things that just don't work for me. Like I'm not you know, group support. Like I'm not big on that, but we know that works for like so many people, but I'm not a group guy. I mean, you're different, right? So, so but if it doesn't work for me, like I said, I don't teach I think that's really important. So it's no different This argued, but it's also your own life, and just feel more comfortable when you teach something that you know you live it. Isn't that true? i
Molly Dahl 55:08
So, so appreciate that perspective. And I, you know, what comes up in my mind is the way that you teach and the way that you approach life, right is taking in the information, trying it on, knowing what it is knowing the theory and the research. But having tried it on to know that it really doesn't work for me. And so your approach to doing that is so it's so useful, and it's so beneficial. And it's, it's so exciting to me that there's someone out there in the world is sharing this concept, that that's what we need to do in the youth positive book, The subtitle is exploring the unique genius of every 21st century adolescent, we need to explore what works best for us. And we need to incorporate that into our lived experience to be able to say, with validity, this works for a lot of people try it out. It doesn't work for me, but it might work for you. And in giving that freedom of choice, we engage others. Yes. Then there's, yeah, go ahead. Firstly, we just know in the in the positive psychology field, the research the practices, the lived experience, choice, creates success. And we've looked at those studies and when people feel that they don't have a choice. And I think this is a big thing, what's happening with kids right now in education, you have to learn this, you have to, you have to take these tests, you have to do the AC T and the si t and whatever. And luckily, that's changing now. But for so many years, we have put kids into a box and said you have to do this. So there's no choice, which greatly lessens the engagement. But when you can say, here are some practices, try them on, find what fits best for you. Because we have choice, we engage. And so this is such a great business model to support our teams. And again, finding the most productive hours for you as a team member, whatever goes right back to what you were saying, on being able to really fit that into my lived experience. And what I so love about weaving all of this together, the positive psychology, the positive education, the contemplative practices, the positive educator with positive psychology and business. It's all this great big, beautiful interwoven thing that comes into lived experience. And we are each a compilation of our lived experience, we might have an event that one day because I woke up tired, that event is catastrophic. But I might have a very similar event. I don't know, a couple of weeks later, but because I woke up not tired, I was feeling pretty happy about life, that same event, was just a blip on the radar screen. And so our I love this phrase, the quality of mind determines our experience. So if the quality of my mind on day one is exhausted, feeling dark, feeling pessimistic, that little experience is going to be dark and pessimistic and catastrophic, because the quality of my mind determines my experience. event number two, which was the same event, a couple of weeks later, I'm rested, my mind is bright, I feel hopeful, I feel a sense of love, I feel compassionate toward myself and others, that event is going to be light and bright and luminous and full of joy and full of love. Because the quality of my mind determines that experience. And so when we want to live happier, it's dependent on the quality of mind.
Braco Pobric 59:19
So true, and you know, I will add that also to the quality of body. But before I say that, I want to just to connect to something you said earlier about your business coach, and I really highly recommend you have a business coach, I actually have a two coaches, business coach, kind of personal business coach, and we have like coaching agencies that deal with the business and I highly recommend getting people to if they can afford or you know, maybe there's a friend to get to find somebody because we we need we need you know, there are things that I coach people and that I don't you know that I need a coach to help me with almost same things right so so when it comes to body I wanted to say I have I call him my personal trainer but he's really not this is how I'm using your fitness. And you know these people they come online right? And this person I love this quote also it's about body it says he says, Your today's legs are not your yesterday's legs or your tomorrow's legs, right? So it's kind of similar to mind. Body, same thing it changes every day. So don't expect don't push it today. Just because you did great more yesterday. Don't don't push it today to do even better. Maybe you can, but if not, then you know listen to your body. Going back to listening to your body, listen to your mind. And listen. This has been such a such a pleasure. Thank you so much for this. So much insights for a wonderful experience story. So the knowledge skills, everything that you that you pour into the audience I really appreciate. Thank you so so much.
Molly Dahl 1:01:06
Thank you so much. It's so great to share with like minded and like hearted people. So thank you.
Unknown Speaker 1:01:13
Thanks so much. I will see you soon. Okay,
Transcribed by https://otter.ai