When Things in Life Don't Go As Expected

 KEY POINTS

• We don't plan for failures, and yet we often fail.
• It is not about a wrong decision we make. It is about moving on when the results are not as expected. 
• To succeed in life, we must move on, live in the present, and keep working toward a better future.
• The past does not define your future. 

Most of us like some kind of sport: soccer, football, basketball, ice skating, rollerblading, surfing, biking, you name it. When we watch an event, we do not think about what these athletes go through in life to get where they are today and to be where they want to be tomorrow.  

I hope this quick story will inspire you to think about their successes differently but even more important to see how resilience could be the number one reason for success and what you should do to build it.

It was Sunday, February 27th, 2022. I invited my neighbor Herbert to watch a soccer game with me. Herbert is a soccer expert and has an incredible knowledge about world teams, players, and the game itself. 

Chelsea was playing with Liverpool in a Carabao Cup final game. The rules called for penalties after 90 minutes of the game (regular game length) and an additional 30 minutes extension. But that is not where my focus is. 

Chelsea's goalkeeper, Edouard Mendy, is one of the best goalies in the world, and in this game, he often prevented Liverpool from scoring. At the last minute of the game, Chelsea's coach Thomas Tuchel, regarded as one of the world's best soccer managers, takes out Mandy and replaces him with Kepa Arrizabalaga with the idea that Kepa will be better at saving penalty kicks. Herbert and I were not happy with this decision, but unfortunately for Chelsea, their coach did not consult us before making this move.

All ten outfielders on both teams converted their penalties, Kepa was unable to prevent Liverpool from scoring, and in the end, he missed the goal when it was his turn. Liverpool won 11:10. The fact is, Kepa did not save the team during the penalty kicks, and his mistakes caused Chelsea to lose an important game.

And this is where my analysis began. Imagine what went through Kepa's mind? What did the coach think about his move? How upset was Mandy? What did the Chelsea players think? 

Now think about this, the next day, the coach, both goalkeepers, and all the players have to go and continue practicing as if nothing happened. They have to move on. They must keep practicing and get ready for the next game. The past can not define their future. They can not let that happen. 

What do you do when hard things happen in life? How do you build your resiliency so you, too, can move on in life regardless of what happens to you? Waiting for bad things to happen is not a way to build resilience.  

We run into challenges every day, small and large. We make significant decisions but also make bad decisions. Decisions could cost us a "championship" title. 

What matters is what we do afterward. We must move on, live in the present, and keep working toward a better future.

Braco Pobric is an Internationally Recognized Positive Psychology Expert, Executive Coach, and Corporate Trainer. He is the bestselling author of Habits and Happiness: How to Become Happier and Improve Your Wellbeing by Changing Your Habits. Braco is a founding member and Chief Happiness Officer of the Life Success Academy, Certified Positive Psychology Master Coach and Trainer, and former globally Certified Trainer and Business Coach for Dale Carnegie Training. His unique approach to integrated learning in Positive Psychology Coaching (PPMC) program let him train over 60,000 Students in 172 countries.